This is amazing, but I get the worst anxiety
I’m thankful for all the different ways I can eat potatoes
the fact that people think in different accents really gets to me
then don’t think about the fact that people think in their native languages. so that asian lady doing your nails is probably silently cursing you in a language you can’t even speak. just saying.
What if you were a bad person in your past life so you’re punished in this life by being a woman and having really bad cramps and stuff… :(
"they’re just a character"
gently takes your hand
leads you outside
lets go of your hand
goes back inside
locks the door
mouths “fuck you” from the window
Sherlock Holmes: high functioning sociopath | knows 243 types of tobacco ash | the difference between alpaca wool and Icelandic sheep wool | destroyed a terror network in two years | made a whole nation believe he was dead
- Thinks his morning tea just sort of happened
A 13-year-old Girl Scout in San Francisco recently set up shop outside a marijuana clinic and sold 117 boxes of Girl Scout cookies within two hours. The cookies were such a big hit, she’s been invited back.
[boss ass bitch plays in the distance]
parents making sex jokes
grandparents making sex jokes
nine-year-olds making sex jokes
Welcome to tumblr where we go from parents making sex jokes to sassy Hitler in 0.6 seconds